


Mourning Love

by theeternalblue



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-02
Updated: 2017-09-16
Packaged: 2018-12-22 19:27:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11974119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theeternalblue/pseuds/theeternalblue
Summary: Daenerys tries to move on after her family passes away, but there isn't only one way or a right way.





	1. Hello, Stranger

**Author's Note:**

> I have too many unfinished stories, but this one has been waiting for too long. It'll be two or three chapters long.

“Hi. My name is Daenerys and I lost my firstborn son,” she said nervously, feeling all eyes on her as the group of people sitting on a semi-circle answered her greeting.

Until that day she had been having trouble accepting she needed help, but her grief had become quite bothersome. It certainly added to the problem her loneliness, even if she could spend her days surrounded by people, she didn’t let anyone get close enough. Daenerys Targaryen was a strong woman who had built herself to be successful all on her own.

“I,” she doubted and cursed how inarticulate she was at the moment, when she usually didn’t have a problem with speaking in front of an audience. “I was married and two years ago I lost my husband and son in an accident. I guess I’m still holding on to the guilt because I remained unharmed.” She laughed humourlessly. “And I know it’s wrong, and it wasn’t my fault. And I wish I didn’t need to be here.” That was the first thing she believed true, but it was rude of her. “I’m sorry.”

A woman smiled sadly at her, and the one guiding the meeting, motioned for her to sit down.

“Who wants to go next?”

Daenerys was looking down at her hands as she wrung her fingers, berating herself for her inability to express herself. It was his voice and thick accent what forced her to look up.

“I’m Robb. I lost my pregnant wife over some medical complications. Unlike some of you, I never got to meet my child.”

He looked gruff and tired, with a beard that more than a fashion statement seemed to have grown because he had simply forgotten to shave.

“I’m here because I’m constantly in a bad mood, and my family is suffering the consequences. So, I agrred to come to this meeting for them, because they worry. Also, because I don’t want to visit a shrink or end up losing the little I have left.”

He sat down promptly, without anyone telling him to do so.

What followed were more introductions of the people in the group, and then sharing their feelings and experiences. It was torture, because Dany knew she was not the only one who was going through the same process. She wondered how people ever got over it, and if some could without therapy.

As soon as they were dismissed, she hurried to her car, her high heels clicking against the pavement quickly. The sky threatened with rain, and she hoped she could make it to her apartment before that, change into her pyjamas and watch TV while eating Indian food.

She sat behind the wheel without saying goodbye to anyone, just hoping to run away and never comeback, never see those faces and perhaps never crossing paths with anyone there ever again in her life. The car didn’t start, though. Everyone was leaving and she was left there, lonelier than before. If Drogo had been there she would have been okay. He would've known what to do. He would've protected her after mocking her for being such a _girl_.

“Do you need help?”

It was Robb, the young man with unruly reddish-brown hair and unkempt beard. Out there, under the grey sky, his eyes shone blue even through the side window.

She opened the door.

“I can’t start the car. It was working fine when I got here, but I don’t know what happened.”

He smirked. “Lucky you.”

“Lucky?” She repeated in a snarky tone that made him snort a laugh. “I don’t appreciate being mocked.”

He smirked. “Pop the hood open. I’ll take a look.” He was already pushing the sleeves up his arms. “Come on, we don’t have all day.”

She rolled her eyes but did as told.

“You don’t need to do this. I understand I could call for assistance.”

“It’s okay. I know my way around cars.”

Dany made a rude noise. “So, you’re a man’s man who knows how to repair cars and build things. Probably fix things around the house, too?”

He smiled at her, in the way that let her know he thought she was being dumb.

“Yeah. Kind of. That’s how you’re raised when you live in the country. Of course, that also meant my mother had a say in my education, which translated into piano and dance lessons. Fortunately for us both, you aren’t in the mood to share a dance.”

She looked at him in the eye. “I do know how to change a tire.”

He chuckled. “Good for you.”

“I’m saying I’m not a damsel in distress.”

“And I’m not a knight in shining armour.” He moved his hands under the hood and then he closed it. “Try again.”

The car started, making the same soft noise of always instead of the choking sounds from before.

Robb stood next to the open door and smiled. From up close, Dany could see the dark circles around his eyes and the same feeling of hopelessness she felt.

“Thank you,” she told him sheepishly.

He smiled at her. “You are welcome.” He stood straight and then sighed. “I have a feeling that I won’t see you here again.”

“It’s not my thing.” She pursed her lips and frowned. “I’m seeing a therapist and taking meds. I can’t do this as well. I have a tendency to worry about people’s problems, so this will only sadden me more.”

“Hope things get better for you, Daenerys.”

He turned around and started to walk away. She followed his shape for a few seconds and then checked her phone. There was only five percent of battery left and she had forgotten the charger at the office.

“Great.”

Dany took a deep breath and heard as the rain started to fall. In only seconds, the few droplets had turned into a downpour. She could barely see Robb walking down the street with his hands in his pockets. He moved at an unusual slow pace, considering the weather.

It didn’t take her much time to decide to give him a ride.

“Hey!” She called as she followed him, opening the passenger’s window. “Robb?”

He looked at her. Drops of water fell from his curly hair and face, and even if the power of the rain should have made him look small and weak, he looked like he felt comfortable there.

“I could drive you home. It’s the least I can do.”

“I don’t live very far from here- “

“Come on. Please. I’ll feel better.”

She unlocked the door and he soon slid in.

“I’m sorry for getting water all over your car.” He looked somehow bigger once he occupied the seat next to her. It was almost comical to see him trying not to make a mess.

“It’s leather so it doesn’t do much to it really.”

He snorted a laugh.

“Expensive.” Sarcasm – a self-defence mechanism, her therapist would say, but in reality? She missed it. Drogo had been an expert in his sarcastic remarks. She was blunt and rude whenever someone pushed her limits.

Dany sighed. “After the accident, I didn’t have much left. I inherited the company of my husband and decided to shape it to achieve the goals I had in mind. So far it has worked. I haven’t done anything else but to make money. It helps me to keep my mind off things.”

“I know what you mean.” He quietly gave her directions as she drove. “I have a pub. Needless to say, I was tempted to drink everything and forget, but it wouldn’t have helped.” He looked down at his lap. “Since then, I haven’t done much, really.”

He probably did drink himself into oblivion at first. Everyone knew she had spent weeks locked-up and weeping after her family passed away. She had no one left then. Her parents had died, and so her brothers. Yes, she was somewhat rich, but that didn’t translate into a fulfilling life. She guessed it was like that for everyone who lost their loved ones.

“I could give you my therapist number if you wish.” Dany regretted it instantly when he chuckled, but she insisted. “He’s annoying as all of them are, but his methods are unconventional and… at least I’ve stuck to it this time.”

“Sorry, _luv_ , but I’m not so sure I can afford it.”

The words left his mouth with a different cadence. It was soft and warm, yet crisp – like crackling fire.

Robb turned his gaze on her and his smile disappeared. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”

“That you cannot afford it?” She tried to quip, but she knew exactly what he meant. It was easy to imagine him as a young lad, flirtatious and confident – the striking blue eyes and his physique spoke for themselves.

A corner of his mouth tilted upwards. “I work at a pub. If anyone knows what not to say to women unless invited, it’s me.”

“Good to know. Maybe I’ll propose your establishment for the next blind date my friends set me up with.”

He gave the last instructions to her so she could park in front of a well-kept three-storey building. An old-fashioned and nicely looking pub at the street level must’ve been his.

“So, they do that to you, as well?”

She smiled at him. “I think it’s their way of asking me to move on.”

“I think it’s their way of telling me they are sick of keeping an eye on me, so I better find me someone new.”

Dany snorted a laugh. It was so easy to talk to someone who knew the pain, the process of grieving and how unnecessarily helpful people could be – they might’ve been as lost as they were, but couldn't just let it be.

“Thank you, Daenerys.” Robb was about to get out of the car, so she quickly rummaged through her bag to retrieve a small card with a monogram that this time made her feel embarrassed.

She knew it was unlikely that he could reach out to her for help, but she had at least tried. “If you want to… talk. I mean – this is the first time I don’t feel pressured to talk in over a year. If it helps, you can find me.”

He took the card and frowned at it before looking at her. He pursed his lips, as if he had wanted to say something, but decided not to. “Thank you.”

She smiled and nodded. Robb left the car and hurried himself into the building, looking at her once he got the door opened. He stood there until she made it past the corner – she could see him through the rear-view mirror.

-x-

“Would you trust me?” Missandei said in her even and calm voice, while Daenerys tried to look as busy as she could by perusing her emails for the thousandth time. She just really didn’t want to have this conversation one more time. No, she didn’t want to meet another man who would probably end up only interested in her status or how _hot_ she looked.

“Do you remember what happened last time someone set me up?” Daenerys sighed before rolling her eyes. It was a complete disaster. The man she met spent half the night enumerating all the aspects in which he was better than her – because he wasn’t so confident about his masculinity apparently.

“But I haven’t tried!” Missandei exclaimed with a small smile on her lips. Her curly hair always seemed perfect and so effortlessly styled, Dany might’ve believed her assistant and friend had the help of fairies – but she knew the truth and effort behind the flawless look. “Please, Dany?”

“Fine, why not? It cannot be worse than the first date I had.”

Missandei looked at her with a mix of pity and despair. That first time she had to rescue Daenerys – or better said, the man subjected to the ugly crying. Dany hadn’t been ready at all for that first time.

That was the reason that led Dany to the small and quaint tea parlour in the corner of Kingsway and North Street. She wasn’t about to have drinks with a stranger – it wasn't a risk she was willing to take again. Tea she could easily escape from. And a last-minute afternoon meeting seemed plausible, so she could give an excuse.

In her hurry to get this date over, she had arrived ten minutes earlier than agreed. She hated to be sat at the table alone – she felt as if all eyes were on her.

“Hi.”

Daenerys looked up at the suave voice’s owner to find a pair of gentle dark grey eyes. The man was young – probably around her age – pale and with dark and curly hair. He had glasses on but she could tell he probably didn’t have much trouble without them.

“Hi. Are you Jon?”

His smile was small, but he seemed nice. “I am. And that question makes you Daenerys, right?”

“Yes.” She motioned to the chair across from her. “Please, take a seat. I was waiting for you to arrive before ordering.”

“Have I mistaken the time we were supposed to meet?”

“Oh, no.” She laughed nervously. “I’m always in a hurry, so I got here early.”

The waitress arrived soon enough to take their order. Chai latte and Victoria sponge for her, while Jon chose a cup of Earl Grey and scones with jam – simple and classic.

“So,” Daenerys started, but then the both of them chuckled. “Who roped you into doing this?”

“My cousin. She believes I need to expand my circle and she met your friend at a crafts class, I believe.”

“Yes. Baking, actually. Missandei told me.” Daenerys was at lost. It had been a long time since she had a proper date, and this man was allowing her to lead the way, but she had never been good at it. When she met Drogo, she was naïve and he took all the decisions – at one point it caused trouble in their relationship, but she loved him above all. They worked it out. “She mentioned your worked as a photo journalist.”

“Yes. I like to travel and be in the centre of the news, I guess. Be part of history in some way.” Jon leaned back on his chair, finally looking like he was at ease.

“That’s nice.”

“You?”

“Boring office job. I own a logistics company – actually I inherited it, so I’m still learning the trade.” Damn. Was she about to scare him away already? Her dead husband didn’t seem like the right topic to start a date. “But I like it. I’ve found out I’m good at it.”

Jon smiled. “That’s good. Not everyone finds their calling in life.”

She wouldn’t have said it was her calling, but it kept her busy and she loved having goals in life and working towards them.

From then on, the date seemed to move along easily. Jon was sweet and thoughtful – not great with jokes but a good storyteller. She soon understood why he liked journalism. It didn’t hurt that he was attractive in the particular way some men are, when they are self-conscious and unaware of their charm. Drogo was never like that – he knew his worth from the get-go. But different was good – she needed different to move on, to keep living.

She liked that he had no trouble with splitting the bill – Daenerys disliked men who paid to make themselves look more powerful or those who assumed she had to pay because she made more money. It was a surprising gesture she appreciated.

“Um,” he cleared his throat as they made their way out of the tea parlour. “Please do tell me if I’m wrong, but this went well, right?”

She laughed a little while nodding. “It did. I was surprised. And not because of you, but I don’t exactly have the best record with dates. I’m picky, apparently.” Was she about to ruin this?

Jon chuckled. “You were a great date, so I have to disagree with that.”

“Thank you.”

“Since this turned out so well, would you like to meet again? For drinks, perhaps?”

It took her a moment to assimilate the question. Here there was a handsome and lovely man who took the time to meet her and talk to her, not looking at her with pity, but with real interest. Was this her chance to finally start living again? Did she deserve it? Yes! Everyone but her would’ve told her that yes, she deserved it.

“I’d like that. Sounds lovely.”

“Great, so I’ll call you.” He fished for his mobile and waited for her to recite her number.

It was funny, but she felt excited, as if she was about to have her first date ever. She had forgotten how amazing it was that feeling.

She was serving food to her cat that night when her mobile beeped. Syrax was purring happily, rubbing against her owner’s legs, while Dany tried to read the message. She immediately thought of Jon, content knowing he was as excited as she was with the date. To her surprise, though, the number was unknown.

_Hi. How are you? Robb, from the meeting BTW._

There was a fluttery feeling in her belly at the memory of those blue eyes, at the sadness in him that felt so much like the one she felt inside herself and wasn’t afraid to show with him like with everyone else.

A new beep signalled for a new message.

_Sorry if I bothered you._

Robb probably felt as anxious as she did when reaching out for people. It was a struggle because they didn’t want to seem needy, but they were. The human touch, the need to quench the loneliness.

_I’m feeding my cat._

It was so stupid, and she regretted it as soon as she pressed the sent button.

_Is that code for something else?_

She snorted a laugh. God! She wished it were code for something more exciting.

_Lol. No. I’m that boring._

She soon followed with another message.

_I’m glad you texted. I’m fine. How are the meetings?_

Robb replied quickly.

_Terrible. One sob story after another. I’ll end up more depressed._

He quickly sent a smiley face. _Glad you’re better._

Daenerys sat on the couch with Syrax next to her while she texted back and forth with Robb, smiling at the screen as he told her a story about his patrons at the pub. Apparently Theon, a friend who worked with him, wasn’t as skilled as a ladies’ man as he thought he was.

They spent an hour messaging each other.

_I have to go feed my dog._

She snickered. _Is that a euphemism?_

He only sent a winky face.

-x-

“Anything new?”

Daenerys lifted her gaze from her lap and stared at Tyrion Lannister – her therapist. What an odd choice for help, she always thought. But like he had said, most people choose to be therapist in hopes of helping themselves – and he claimed to have more problems than anyone else he knew or treated. It wasn’t just about his dwarfism, but also his problematic family – unresolved issues and a father who only expected perfection from his children.

“I’ve met someone.”

“That’s good. New friend?” Tyrion wrote something down on his tablet and hummed.

“Well, two men?”

Tyrion looked at her, raising his eyebrows. “You’re not sure?”

She shook her head. “I went to group therapy, like you recommended but it didn’t do any good. Except I met a man who lost his wife and unborn child. He understands me and I don’t have to pretend to be okay, so it’s nice.”

“Okay, but you said two men. Is this other man also from the group?”

“No. My best friend set me up. He was my blind date, and it turned out he’s really sweet, and worldly. Very attractive as well.” She was babbling, but if she didn’t get it out, she would never do it. “He didn’t want to delve into my past, so he basically didn’t care if I was a mess.”

Tyrion had a sneaky smile on his face. “The other lad wasn’t attractive?”

“What?”

“You mentioned this last man called…” Tyrion instigated her to reveal a name.

“Jon.”

“Jon was attractive. Wasn’t the other?”

“Robb is very handsome, but in a more _primal_ way. I mean, Jon is more sophisticated and Robb is rougher around the edges.”

“Robb and Jon. Jon and Robb.” Tyrion repeated with a lilt of humour. “Seems to me you’re advancing in the right direction.”

“What– No!” She scowled at him. “I’m getting to know them. And Robb hasn’t taken me on a date. He’s a friend. I enjoy talking to him and sharing experiences because he has gone through pretty much the same. While Jon is new in my life and he just doesn’t need to know about how awful the last couple of years have been or how much I’ve cried.”

“So, you like Jon for dating and not Robb.”

“No!” She replied so quickly and with so much conviction, she was taken aback by it. “I’m confused. And I barely know them.”

“My advice is for you to get to know them.” Tyrion placed his table on the auxiliary table next to his chair. “And if you want to go on a date with Robb or Jon, ask! You’re a grown woman, smart and independent. If it fails, it doesn’t matter, at least you tried. It’ll serve you to test your strength.”

“You don’t know that.”

He scoffed. “My father tried to bribe my wife so she’d leave me and that way she wouldn’t get any part of my family’s money. I married only to lose her a few months later to cancer.”

Dany felt awful. She knew that about Tyrion, but it was so easy to forget. Emotional scars weren’t so easily seen on someone’s face.

“Fine. I’ll ask Robb to go to dinner with me. But Jon asked me to have drinks this Friday. He wants me to meet his cousin’s pub, so… I’ll see how I do and then, if I’m not so emotionally drained, I’ll speak with Robb.”

“Good. Sounds like a plan.”

Daenerys smiled. “It does. It feels like progress.”


	2. Hello, Lovely

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a date!

_I don’t want to get out of bed._

Daenerys laughed a little when she received Robb’s message. It was nine in the morning and her day had started several hours ago. It hadn’t been as if she wanted to leave the bed, but she had gotten used to the mechanical tasks – sleeping, eating and showering. If she went through the motions of a normal life, she could pretend things were fine. Those were the first steps, people had said, so she tried – it worked to some capacity, and it got her working like a regular person.

The lazy morning Robb was hoping for probably had to do with his working hours, as well. He mentioned he never got to bed before two in the morning. Yes, the pub was open until midnight, but it wasn’t like he locked it up and went to bed. At least the walk home wasn’t long – he only needed to get upstairs.

“Is that Jon?” Missandei asked at the sight of Dany texting back on her mobile.

“No.” Dany then cursed in her head at the honest answer she had given. “It’s some stupid meme.” She shook her head, trying not to make a big deal out of it. “But I’ve been talking to him. I’ve learned he likes art and music – particularly fond of The Smiths.”

Missandei smiled. “That’s great! You seem much more relaxed lately. And I’m happy work is not the only thing in your mind lately.”

“Yes, now the one thing I need to ask of you is, would you go shopping with me? I think I have nothing to wear for Friday. Apparently, I only own work clothes.” Dany grimaced at the tiny shriek of elation that abandoned Missandei. Had it been that long since she behaved like a proper friend?

“Of course!”

Money wasn’t exactly a problem, but Daenerys feared they were going overboard with the number of outfits Missandei thought necessary. But she wasn’t complaining too much, because Daenerys could admit the clothes were pretty and she was having a great time hanging out with her friend.

_I was thinking I could pick you up tomorrow so we go together. Is it ok?_

A text from Jon. It was sweet he took the time to ask and not just assume he _had_ to pick her up to go to his cousin’s pub. She liked he wasn’t the type of man who overstepped into her space. But if she wanted to leave earlier, she could always find a way, so she answered affirmatively, giving him the office address.

“Jon,” Dany said to Missandei. “Checking about tomorrow night.”

“Isn't he adorable?”

Danerys smiled fondly at the memory of his kind dark eyes and the soft voice. Jon was indeed adorable in the way grown men can be – he was respectful and thoughtful. She was liking the prospect of getting to know him better. Seeing him in his habitat, with his friends, seemed like a great place to start, so she was eager for their date.

“He’s behaving splendidly so far. I’d like to see more of him at the moment.”

Missandei soon looked at her with mischief. “And he’s a hottie too, isn’t he?”

Dany laughed. “He’s incredibly handsome, too. I cannot deny that.”

“Good. When Arya showed me his photo, I thought you’d like him. Poor girl can’t bake for her life, but as a matchmaker, she does have potential.” Missandei studied a pair of shoes and then presented them to Dany. “Jon seems like a sexy intellectual, which was totally your type before you met Drogo.”

It wasn’t as if Drogo was an absolute brute. He had an instinct that was better than anything else. He knew how business worked and what decision was the wisest. But yes, he did not enjoy the ballet or theatre – he screamed his head off at rugby games, though. Probably that was the biggest difference with every other man she had met since Drogo: they weren’t passionate enough. She had to admit she enjoyed greatly to see how Drogo owned the room he walked into and the way he would never give up.

Dany took the pair of velvet flats. They were a pretty shade of lilac, with a low silver heel, perfect if she planned on being standing or walking for a long period of time. “I’ll take these.”

-x-

“I’m leaving now, so I’ll probably be there in twenty or thirty minutes,” Jon said over the phone as Dany swatted away Missandei hands trying to fix her hair once again.

“Great. I’ll see you soon, then.”

After the call was over, Daenerys turned around to glare at Missandei. “Would you please stop fidgeting?”

Missandei smiled shyly. “I’m nervous, it’s all. I mean, this is a second date! You haven’t had one of those in a very long time, so forgive me for being excited about this.” She placed her hands over Dany’s shoulders and squeezed them gently. “You look gorgeous.”

Daenerys sighed and looked down at her attire. It was a lovely and comfortable floral shift dress. The fabric was soft to touch and the colour of the print partially matched her shoes. Dany had chosen a pair of earrings that also shared the same shade of lilac.

“You are getting lost in your head, darling,” Missandei called in a singsong voice.

Unfortunately, she was right. Daenerys did that. It was her detachment technique and she was a master at it – after she realized she was too emotional for the ruthless business she worked on, she had to learn to leave her feelings out of the way, which also helped her after losing Drogo and Rhaego.

“Sorry,” Dany whispered. She reached for the leather jacket, and slipped it on. “And I’m really thankful to have you as my friend. I’d be truly lost without you.”

Missandei smiled and cooed before wrapping her friend in a hug. They both were the only _family_ they had – chosen family was better than whatever luck threw at you at birth. They were always there for each other, no matter what. And they balanced each other out – where Daenerys was a storm of emotions, Missandei was calm and collected.

Soon after, Jon arrived. Daenerys hadn’t known what to expect from Jon’s car, but she guessed a Volkswagen was right for him – classic and reliable, not the one who wanted to steal the show, but the one who managed to do the job with excellence.

“Are you ready?” He asked with childlike excitement. It was clear this was important for him, and for the same reason Daenerys became a bit more nervous. Did she have to be approved by his friends before he attempted something more _serious_ with her?

“As much as I can be, I suppose.” She smiled at him before putting the seatbelt on.

“Don’t worry. They might be a little annoying at first, but they only jest.” Jon smiled reassuringly before turning the engine on and starting their way to the pub. Meanwhile they spoke about their day, and how excited was Jon that soon he would be sent to Germany for a few days for work. He disliked to be at the same place for long. He hadn't had the chance to travel much in his youth, so he now did it as often as he could.

Dany’s mobile beeped, and she apologized to Jon. She was about to silence it, when she saw it was a message from Robb.

_Busy tonight? Can you chat?_

“It’s Missandei,” Dany lied quickly, before replying a quick text. “She was worried I had forgotten about a meeting on Monday.”

Jon merely nodded.

_Can’t. Later?_

She was about to put her mobile in her small bag, when the screen lit up again.

_Damn. I needed to vent before meeting my brother’s new girl. But later._

Daenerys frowned at the screen. What a coincidence.

“Something wrong?” Jon asked as soon as he noticed her expression.

“Oh, no. Nothing’s wrong.” She was about to smile at him, when she lifted her gaze and recognized the street they were driving through. But it couldn’t be, right? It couldn’t because Jon said the pub belonged to his cousin and Robb called the man brother. “Is the pub near?”

Jon grinned. “Yes, just two blocks away.”

She had started to feel a little dizzy. “How close are you with your cousin?”

Jon chuckled. “Very close. He’s like my brother, and he actually calls me his brother. We grew up together, so it was Robb and me for a long time, even after Sansa was born.” He parked just a few steps away from the entrance of the pub.

Offering his hand for support, Jon gentlemanly provided help to get out of the car, but Dany had suddenly lost all the excitement that had led her to this night. She was doomed! It was just her luck to find two beautiful men, both interesting and thoughtful, and then discover they were related and very close. She should’ve known it was too perfect.

Her head was working on its own, imagining possible outcomes for this night – none of them with a happy ending for her – while Jon encouraged her to follow and enter the place. He kept the door open for her, but thankfully proposed her to wait for him to greet his cousin first and then he’d introduce her.

The place was full, with a nice atmosphere of people having a good time with friends or even strangers. It radiated warmth and familiarity, as a haven for those who were in dire need of a respite.

Jon was approached by a wiry man with light brown hair, who patted him on the back in friendly fashion.

Daenerys took a few tentative steps towards the two men, hearing their voices but not making out the words. Her heart was beating so hard, she expected for it to jump out of her through her mouth.

“Well, this must be a vision,” a thick voice called from behind her. Daenerys turned around to meet the blue eyes she remembered from their brief car ride. A corner of Robb’s mouth tilted upwards in a charming smirk. He seemed taller now that she was wearing flats, and his shoulders seemed broader even though he only wore a black cotton shirt and had forgone the jacket. “Were you trying to surprise me? Would you like a drink?” He motioned candidly towards the bar, quite at ease in his domains.

An explanation was forming in her brain, but it was working at a very slow pace and before her mouth could open to try to say something – anything! – Jon was standing at her side.

“You two met already?” Jon asked while looking at his _brother_.

Robb’s eyes travelled from Jon’s face to hers. His smile faltered for a second, but he was pretty good at keeping the mask on. “No. I haven’t had the pleasure. I was just asking if she was looking for someone.” He directed his reply at Jon and then outstretched a hand to her. “I’m Robb. Jon’s brother.”

She stared at his hand dumbly for a second too long. “Daenerys,” she muttered, finally taking his hand.

“Nice to meet you.” His attitude had become tepid from one moment to the next. She could tell Robb had immediately decided to put distance between them. “Would you like a table?”

Jon had put a hand over Robb’s shoulder, a gesture that showed intimacy between them – they were probably brothers in everything but blood. “Theon said he had saved us a spot at the bar.” He smiled. “Otherwise, we won’t see you at all through the night.”

Daenerys wanted to wince. It was most likely why Robb had offered the table, so he wouldn’t have to see them all the time. She had ruined the night, obviously.

“Alright, then. Follow me.”

Climbing the stool she sat on proved to be a small challenge due to her short stature, but only Theon noticed. Theon was the wiry man from before, one who apparently was known for being a particular kind of rude and a jester. But Jon claimed Robb hadn’t hire Theon for his spectacular personality, but for his talent at making fish and chips and seafood.

“The best in this whole bloody city,” Theon boasted while Robb placed two glass bottles before Jon and her.

“Your favourite,” Robb told Jon. “And for the lady, cider.”

“I haven’t ordered anything yet.” She earned herself a raised eyebrow from Robb.

Theon snorted a laugh, obviously mocking her, while Jon just tried to appease her. “Trust him. Robb knows what he sells.”

“But cider is like apple juice, is it not?” She tried to look for a supporter among these three men, but they looked at her as if thinking she was crazy. Theon smirked once again.

“I better go for those fish and chips before Robb starts ranting here.”

Had she said something wrong? She didn’t drink much, true. But she was mostly a wine kind of person, who from time to time had some whisky. Drogo drank whisky and beer that he chose personally, because he didn’t trust those decisions on anyone.

“Try it first,” Robb said, placing a tall glass in front of her and pouring her a glass. Jon had already taken a sip of his dark beer.

The liquid in the glass was clear and golden.

She eyed Robb and Jon with distrust. They were surely tricking her into drinking a girly type of alcohol. But she accepted the challenge. It was a sparkling liquid with some sweet but also sour taste of apple that hid a powerful punch. It did have alcohol!

“You like it?” Jon asked more worried than her.

She nodded. “It’s good. Really good.”

Robb tried to hide his smile, but since he wasn’t being successful, he moved away. “If you excuse me, I have patrons to serve. Have a great night.”

Daenerys followed him with her eyes for a few seconds, but then turned her attention on Jon, and smiled. She had to, despite feeling a little uncomfortable, he was trying to be the best date he could and was allowing her to meet part of his family, which showed real interest.

“It’s a nice place.”

Jon sighed. “Excuse Robb if he seems rude. He has gone through… a rough patch.”

Did her friends said the same about her when she behaved distant and aloof?

“It’s fine.” She chuckled and placed a hand on his bicep. “I’m here with you, so why should I count his behaviour towards me as your fault?”

Jon nodded, pleased to know he wasn’t going to suffer in case his cousin did something wrong. Of course, he had no idea it would more likely than not have an effect on how Dany felt, though. She was still wondering why Robb had pretended not knowing her. Robb could’ve just said it and be over with it, perhaps creating a rift between Jon and her.

Theon arrived soon with the dishes. The fish looked crisp and golden, and she was glad it tasted even better than it looked. It was fun to talk to Jon and Theon while they ate – hearing them tell comical stories from childhood, though Theon had a tendency to remind Jon about all those times he had made a fool of himself. Dany laughed and had a truly good time, something it hadn't happened in ages. They didn’t know everything about her, so it was easier to be herself when they weren’t looking at her with pity.

Robb of course avoided them as much as he could.

“You like crosswords?” Jon asked with some incredulity at her confession.

“Yes!” She giggled and blamed it partially on the cider, which happened to be extremely good. She was half-way through her fourth glass. “Might make me look like a granny, but I enjoy it.”

“No, I mean, I like them too.” Jon smiled, pleased to have things in common, not caring if those things were a bit old-fashioned. “Nothing better than filling the squares and have a cup of tea during winter.”

“I can completely see the appeal in that. But I would add some biscuits to that idea.” In some silly thought, she imagined the two of them sat on a sofa, both eyeing the same crossword in companionable silence, drinking tea and eating biscuits. It was an easy picture, one that provoked a glowing feeling inside her.

Excusing herself for a moment, she made her way to restroom. On her way out, and back to Jon, she saw Robb taking an order from a table with four women – who were ineffectively trying to flirt with him. He jotted something on a pad quickly and moved on. Robb hadn’t seen her, so when Dany boldly hooked her fingers on the pocket of his jeans, and dragged him into the nook that led to the restroom, he was taken aback.

“What are you doing?” He hissed, just with a dash of anger.

She frowned. It must’ve been the alcohol in her blood, but she decided to ignore it. “Why did you pretend not knowing me?”

Robb heaved a long and suffering sigh. “Because you are here with Jon.”

“So?”

He chuckled, but Dany noticed he avoided looking at her. “When I lost Talisa and the baby… A mess doesn’t even begin to describe what I was.” She knew the feeling, she lived it. “My mother wanted me to go back to Edinburgh, but I didn’t want to. Jon sacrificed himself and left everything to take care of me. He’s the one who tries to set me up on dates. So, if he thinks I have the slightest interest in you, he’ll step aside.”

Shaking her head, she glared at him. “I don’t think that’s true.”

“It might’ve not been true before, because I’m louder and more forward, but…”

“You’re scared. It’s okay.”

“What?” This time he scowled, deeply.

“You’re gorgeous, but we are just friends. He would’ve understood.” The last words came out a bit slurred, and even she noticed it.

“Oh, bloody… you are beyond naïve, aren’t you?” He took her hand to pull her out of their hidding spot, and then led her to the bar with a hand on her upper back, between her shoulder blades. They reached Jon’s place and Robb barked at Theon. “Stop serving this one.”

“A lightweight?” Theon cackled.

“And you, take her home. She’ll fall asleep in the car.” Robb allowed Jon to hold her hands to help her keep her balance, but Jon just looked at his cousin with wide eyes. She had seemed fine just moments before.

“I’m okay.” It sounded like a whine coming from a little girl. Jon soon understood it was time for her to go home and sleep it off. “Could I have another glass of cider, please?”

-x-

“I’m hungover,” Dany whispered into the phone, with a tinge of shame and regret. The other end of the call wasn’t merciful. Tyrion laughed quite loudly. “I won’t make it to our appointment.” Not like she was in the mood for those stupid meditation sessions – she needed to talk but at the moment that wasn’t appealing either.

“Was it Jon or Robb?”

“Both?” Dany muttered, pulling the covers over herself and sinking into bed. She would not abandon her cocoon. “Not like you think, pervert.”

“Huh? Please explain, then.”

“It turns out they are related. Cousins, though Robb keeps calling Jon his brother.” She groaned as she turned in bed, tucking the mobile between her shoulder and ear. She reached for the pills in her night table and took two with the glass of water placed next to it. “I learned all this during my date with Jon, which happened to be at Robb’s pub. Also, if my clouded memory doesn’t fail me, Robb told me it was Jon who cared for him after his wife died.”

“Well, isn’t that shitty luck.” Tyrion paused a moment, and she heard some white noise. “When are you going to ask Robb out?”

“Are you out of your mind! I just told you they are related.”

“There wasn’t a fight, so I assume one of them is in the dark.” Daenerys hated when Tyrion was right.

“Robb pretended he didn’t know me.”

Tyrion snickered. “Smart boy, but a little obtuse, I would bet.”

“Why?” Dany sat straighter on bed.

“Let me guess, he spent the night _busy_? Avoiding you and Jon, so I would assume he fancies you. And let’s be honest, you fancy both of them.”

“I’m going to hang up now.” She hated him seventy-five percent of the time – which coincidently was when he was right. “You’re too involved in my life.”

“It’s how is supposed to be. I’m your therapist. And my advice? Ask the lad on a date and find reasons not to like him, it’ll be easier to break his heart later.”

But that wasn’t what she wanted. Though, she also knew she couldn’t keep both of them waiting for her to make up her mind. It was so much easier when she didn’t allow anyone into her life. Maybe she should’ve just kept herself locked-up.

“Besides,” Tyrion interrupted her train of thought. “I’m seriously doubting the interest of this Jon. What man in his right mind doesn’t try to at least kiss his date?”

“He was respectful and a gentleman!” Dany argued.

“Yes, but I imagine he had plenty of chances before you were shitfaced.”

“Now I’m going to hang up. Bye, Tyrion. See you next week.”

She could still hear his laughter ringing in her ears when she decided to take another nap.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't really expected such reaction to the story, though I can't deny I enjoy seeing you like it.


	3. Hello, Maybe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for making you wait!

“Let’s meet this week. I want to apologize about the other night.” Daenerys sighed heavily into the phone. “Okay, so I just hope you aren’t ignoring this message, because if someone should be embarrassed, that’s me. Bye.” She pressed the red symbol on her mobile and frowned. She certainly hoped Robb was busy at the moment and not simply ignoring her because of Jon – yes, he probably had his reasons to believe it wasn’t a good idea to spend some time alone, but she was at least a little selfish, and in dire need to talk to him and clear the air between them.

Meanwhile, work would have to suffice to keep her mind off things, so she did her best at it. The routine, the meetings and calls to be answered were what kept her busy – she had to drive her head into blissful emptiness. Unfortunately, that also made her forget about basic needs such as food. Missandei insisted on a much-needed break, offering her a salad and a bottle of water – Dany took them if only so her friend stopped worrying.

_4.30 am. Fish market. Say yes and I’ll wait for you._

A message from Robb that almost made her spit out her food. _He was insane!_ He must’ve been to propose that kind of meeting. But she was also curious about this invitation. He probably thought the time and place would get him a no for an answer – but he had no idea how determined she was.

_Okay. See you._

What did one wear to go to a fish market? Dany wasn’t about asking Missandei – it would provoke all sorts of questions, and she wasn’t ready to answer them. Her friend would probably be on Jon’s side, wondering who Robb was and why he hadn’t come up as a subject before. Dany knew very well she wasn’t really hiding Robb because she felt ashamed of spending time with him – she hid him to keep her own struggles hidden. After all, Missandei knew nothing about group therapy – she thought things were going well.

Anyway, the decision was already made. She would meet Robb, even if it was only to realize it was a big mistake to try to approach this lone wolf.

It was extremely cold that Tuesday – maybe because the sun hadn’t come up yet. Daenerys was donning a knitted hat and a thick red wool duffle coat, and begged her teeth wouldn’t chatter. She must’ve had some serious issues if she was willing to meet a man so early in the morning – or was it merely tenacity?

The Uber parked in front of the fish market, just next to the car park’s entry. There was Robb in a dark grey hoodie and black peacoat. He really didn’t seem as cold as she felt. Actually, he seemed strangely comfortable, as if freezing temperatures were normal.

“Hi,” she greeted meekly. It wasn’t just Jon or the whole problem that had caused when they decided to lie about knowing each other, but also because she was afraid she had done something inappropriate the previous Friday. She remembered most of it, but what if she had missed something important? What if she hadn’t read him as well as she thought she had?

“I don’t know why I’m doing this,” Robb muttered more to himself than for her.

“Buying fish for the pub?” she quipped. Luckily, he seemed amused.

“This is usually Theon’s task. I come only when he has an important excuse. He had one yesterday, right before you left me that message.” He pulled his hands out of his pockets and motioned for her to follow. They started walking towards the building. “I never thought you’d say yes to my invitation.”

“Well, I never thought you’d talk to me again, so I took my chances.” Dany followed quickly so she wouldn’t lose him from her sight.

It was strange, but the place was bustling. She rarely thought about how the city never really stopped moving. But she guessed it was just as the world – it didn’t matter if she stood still, the rest kept on moving without noticing her missing.

“I’m glad you wore boots,” Robb commented. He navigated through the aisles, studying some fish and seafood with an expert eye. He was clearly used to picking the products he would serve to his clients. “It was a wise choice.” She looked at his feet – he was wearing a well-worn pair of black biker boots – he must’ve never guessed his outfit for this venue unlike her.

Dany couldn’t keep herself from wrinkling her nose at the strong smell. Yes, it was fresh seafood, but that didn’t mean it smelt like roses. And the floor was wet thanks to the ice and the continuous cleaning. A couple of times she almost lost her balance and had to stare apologetically at an old lady who served as support and at Robb.

“It’s really cold.” She shivered. “I’m freezing.” She had pulled the collar of her jacket to cover her nose and mouth.

Robb stared at her and smirked. “Let’s just check all the things in my list, okay? We can have something later.”

“Promise?“ She didn’t know what kind of face she pulled, but he seemed to soften at her expression.

“List first,” Robb insisted after her interruption. It was more likely than not he knew what she wanted to talk about. At least he wasn’t fishing for an apology – pun intended; she smiled for herself and followed him again.

It was fun to see him checking the fish and haggling with the sellers. Robb almost always got a discount, and if he didn’t he’d walk away. Of course, he knew when to be charming and when to be more aggressive, which was enthralling to watch.

“What dish would you recommend me?” Dany asked as a man weighed the smoked salmon Robb had asked for. He seemed to doubt for a second, but then he grinned mischievously.

“You don’t cook, so I’d believe you to be the one ordering takeout.”

The man who handed Robb the salmon chuckled at her gasp and the way she playfully smacked Robb’s arm. Robb smiled quite happy with his witty retort – it was lovely how his eyes crinkled at the corners.

“I cook! Admittedly not often, but I do.”

“Then, how about something easy? Scrambled eggs and smoked salmon with toasts for breakfast.”

Stupidly, Dany imagined herself and Robb at her flat, both sitting at the kitchen counter eating breakfast. She stared at him wide-eyed for a few seconds too long until Robb handed her a small bag with fish.

“Try it and let me know.”

Dumbly, she nodded and thanked the seller before moving on, following Robb once again. He was almost finished with his list, so not long after he was loading the pickup truck he drove.  

The sun still kept itself hidden, and Dany shivered.

“Can we please get a cup of tea or something? Warm. Or scalding hot. I’m two degrees away from turning into an ice cube.” She jumped on her feet, but Robb only chuckled as he shut the tailgate. “Did I say _please_?”

He handed her the truck’s keys. “Get inside. Turn the heat on and I’ll buy something for you.”

She grinned and hurried to the passenger’s side to get in when she noticed the raunchy keychain. A busty woman in a not very decent pose. She frowned at it, and then turned to Robb. “Mind explaining?” Dany held the keys for him to see.

Rolling his eyes, Robb just had one word for her. “Theon’s.” He blushed, and she could see it. “It’s his truck.” He did try to downplay his embarrassment, so he quickly left to buy something for them to eat, waiting until she was snickering inside the vehicle to leave her.

Daenerys was gladly surprised the inside of the truck was clean and not like something owned by a bachelor with a low reputation – Theon didn’t have the best record apparently. What surprised her was to realize the heating wasn’t as good as it could've been – but maybe the guys didn’t use it as often as she would have done it.

When Robb returned with a bag and two cups, she was still rubbing her hands together and shaking a bit.

“Come on, it’s not that cold,” Robb told her as soon as he got in. But she did something she always did with Drogo and pressed her freezing cold hands to his face. He shivered, but wasn’t really put-off, which she was glad for. “Fine, you’re made of ice. Here, take this.” Robb put in her hands a big cup of tea with milk. I was extremely hot and sweet, and she loved it at first sip.

“Thank you,” Dany whispered, with both hands tightly wrapped around her cup. Next, Robb gave her a package: a sandwich wrapped in waxed paper.

It was apparently a ritual for Robb to eat his breakfast like this, because he went through the motions without saying a word. He opened the cup, which she realized was coffee. He put sugar in his drink and stirred it, putting the lid back on. Then unwrapped his own sandwich. Taking a bite, he swiftly washed it down with a mouthful of coffee and then sighed contently.

“Is it good?” she asked when he leaned back on the seat. He only turned his face to see her. The glow of white lights made him look paler and his hair seemed redder. The blue in his eyes turned into a gloomy shade.

“Why did you call me?” And he broke the magic with only one question. Indeed, it was a question he had every right to ask her. “I’m not going to deny I was glad to hear from you, but you’re with Jon–“

“We’re knowing each other.”

He smiled, but something akin to pity hid in his expression. Worse than that, it seemed like resignation. “If you knew Jon the way I do, you’d understand what I’m talking about.”

Looking at her hot drink, she shrugged. “I like talking to you. I feel like I have nothing to hide from you.” Her fingers toyed with her sandwich’s wrapping. “Like it’s not wrong if I laugh or forget for a second I’m a widow, or if I feel like crying because of the very same. You won’t judge me.”

“I don’t want to hurt Jon. I don’t want to lie to him.”

“I don’t want to talk about Jon!” Dany hissed and then turned to Robb with glistening eyes. There was too much tension in her body and she needed to get it all out. “I feel bad as it is. But I haven’t done anything wrong so, why should I feel guilty?” Her voice broke and she felt a couple of big tears running down her cheeks, even if she had tried to stop them. “I’m tired of feeling empty and sad – all the time. I can’t remember not feeling sad. And then I meet you.” They both knew that _you_ was plural. Dany was aware of the awful outcome this conversation could have, but she no longer had the time or patience to pretend for the sake of others. “Could you just forgive me? Even if I don’t know why I’m asking for forgiveness?”

Robb looked forward and then ducked his head. His hands were idly playing with the lid of his cup of coffee, until he just placed it in the cup holder and quickly moved across the seat. His hands cradled her face, and before she could react, Robb kissed her.

She could taste her own tears in the kiss, and she couldn’t reject him. It had been so long since she had kissed properly, since she felt she wanted to be kissed.

One of her hands held her tea, while the other found its way to the back of Robb’s head, tangling in his hair. He smelt like a pleasant mix of body wash, lemongrass and sweat. Dany pulled him tighter against her, enjoying the unexpected softness of his lips, and the somewhat bitter aftertaste of coffee.

Pulling away, Dany felt Robb pressing his forehead against hers. Her eyes were still closed, while her hand delighted in the soft feeling of his beard. She caressed his cheek while his fingers drew tender circles on the soft spot behind her ears.

“I have nothing to forgive,” Robb murmured.

She opened her eyes and stared directly into his. “You want to tell Jon that you lied, don’t you?”

“I have to.”

“Why does it look like you’re trying to punish yourself? You’re looking for reasons to be in pain! You want him to be angry at you.”

Instead of being angry at her, Robb nodded. “It’s easier that way. If he feels like he owes me nothing, he’ll stop trying to save me. And things will be fine with you and him.”

“What if I still choose you? What if you can’t fix this later?” Her hand had reached for his, as if trying to anchor him and refuse to let him go.

“You won’t choose me.” He pushed a lock of her hair behind her ear, following the line of her knitted hat. “You deserve to be happy.”

-x-

“I’m so angry at him!” Daenerys yelled. “So, so pissed at that ridiculous man!” Exasperation, that was the word she was looking for, but at the time she couldn’t take the time to really think about it. She needed to express her emotions and let out her frustrations.

Tyrion just nodded while writing on his iPad. Or maybe he was just doodling, who knew? He could’ve been on Tinder or Facebook for all she knew. Still, at least he was there to listen to her problems – even if he was being paid for it.

“Who does he think he is? Deliverer of justice? Robb is just _fucking_ stupid!” She plopped down on the armchair and stared at her therapist. Well, more like glared at him, but he wasn’t at fault this time. “He should be here trying to fix his issues. Why else would he believe he deserves to be in pain?”

Tyrion looked at her and tilted his head to the side, studying him. “Do I need to remind you about the time you spent locked in your room? Missandei had to call the firemen to get to you. You refused to answer the phone or receive visitors. You decided to dress in black for months and stopped hanging out with friends.” He pursed his lips. “Everyone deals differently with grief.”

“But–“

“You want to save him to save yourself.” That again. He was probably right, but did it seem so selfish in the eye of others? “I’m not saying you want him to be fine so he can become your _suitor_ but because you see yourself in him. And it’s easier to save him.”

Dany’s eyes looked down at her recently manicured hands – purple with a silver half-moon. Missandei’s treat to get her to speak about Jon and the mysterious late arrival on Tuesday. It was obvious Missandei hoped for some exciting news, but Dany kept things to herself.

She hadn’t seen her situation and Robb’s under that light. Perhaps Tyrion was right. She knew he was in some sense, but she also knew Robb had a side of him that he tried to keep hidden; she had seen glimpses of his wild nature and playful personality. But what if it was too much work to discover his true self? Surely, it seemed easier to fall into peaceful pace with Jon.

“You say I should work on saving myself before thinking about saving others?” Had she given that a thought before? It seemed logical, but emotions weren’t that easy to read – that’s why she had a therapist.

“Well, I’m not saying anything new. Safety instructions on airplanes say it better than myself.”

She smiled at him.

-x-

“Hey.” Jon looked vulnerable with his hands in his pockets and head tilted a bit to the side. His dark hair fell in a curl over one of his eyes, but he pushed it back with one hand.

She didn’t want to hurt him, and she wasn’t actually sure she had the power to prevent it. Did she have to tell him what had happened with Robb? Or about her life so he could understand her position? Was it the time to tell her sob story?

“Hi,” Dany finally said shyly. All the words crossing her mind didn’t come out. It was exhausting to have so many emotions in her and plan how to let them out at an appropriate pace, not in a flurry.

“Robb told me.” Jon stood there in front of her while Dany plopped down into her office chair.

She certainly doubted Robb telling his _brother_ about the kiss or _everything_ else. He couldn’t have told Jon about their private conversations, right? About her feelings and the confusion?

“Told you?”

“That he lied. The he knew you from support group.” This time Jon sat at one of the two chairs across Daenerys’ desk. She quickly moved to take the one next to him. “And I admit I don’t know how to feel about it.” He toyed with his hair and glasses, pushing them up his nose a couple of times before he sighed. “I’m thankful you kept his secret but also slightly offended knowing he didn’t trust me enough to tell about the therapy. I’ve been trying to get him help for a long time now.”

“I’m sorry,” she murmured, looking at her hands.

“It’s not your fault. I know he doesn’t want to worry me with these things, because he believes he’s a burden but in reality, he is my brother.” Jon hesitantly reached for her hand, softly taking it in his. “I lost my mom due to childbirth complications. Uncle Ned welcomed me into his home as his own son. Robb and I grew up together – it’s the only family I know. So, when Aunt Catelyn told me he was refusing help, it wasn’t hard to decide to come and help him.” He chuckled softly. “But Robb’s always been the protector, the gallant one. And I still believe he expected to figure things out by himself.”

“It sounds like you two need a long talk.”

“We did. Last night.” Jon heaved a long and tired sigh. “I haven’t really slept, so I might be a little stupider than usual.”

When she saw the self-deprecating expression on his face, Dany took his hand between both of hers and caressed his knuckles.

“I guess we needed that. He should know I don’t resent him for anything. But he also told me that I should stop trying to meddle in his life, which I do.” A small smile appeared on his face and grew as he talked.

“You worry for his well-being. That’s commendable, but even if you know how it feels to lose someone, losing the one you chose to spend the rest of your life with, and a child, is not the same. We thought our lives were settled, and that was it; it was our new purpose in life and suddenly it’s stolen from you.” She smiled sadly at him. “You’re incredible just for trying to understand how it feels.”

“Well, thank you for seeing it like that.” Jon used his other hand to touch the side of her face. “I do enjoy spending time with you. You’re someone special. You make me feel… at ease and content. It’s so rare for me.”

It was so easy and natural to just lean forward and press her lips to him. Kissing him was something meant to happen – she wouldn’t have forgiven herself if she never did it.

His lips were soft and pliant, much like he was. Jon barely put pressure into the kiss, almost afraid to scare her. He allowed her to lead, to be in charge, and it pleased her.

He smelt like soft perfume, something sweet and woodsy, like spending winter in front of the fire. Daenerys liked the sensation of being wrapped in comfortable safety. Jon was exactly that – she knew he would keep her happy and safe as long as she allowed it. But her question remained, could she do the same in return?

Jon kissed the corner of her mouth, promising so much more.

Dany closed her eyes tightly.

“I want to know you better,” Jon whispered – she could feel his warm breath on her lips. “I know it’s short notice but, would you like to come with me to Germany?”

Looking at him with wide eyes, she felt herself shaking her head no.

“Jon–“

“Did I read your reaction wrong?” The hurt was starting to carve its way onto his face.

“No!” she hurried herself to say. “It’s not that. You’re marvellous and, have I known you under different circumstances, I’d love to go with you. _Anywhere_. But I can’t. You don’t deserve my hesitance. My head and heart are still far away from me. There are not mine yet, so how can I give them to someone else?”

Reaching for his face, Dany smiled.

“I’ve tried so hard to be the woman I was before, to have things be normal again, but the truth is, I can’t. I’ve changed! And I need to go through that process and accept who I am now, before I can let anyone into my life again. I have to figure out who I am, so others can get to know me.”

“What are you going to do?” Jon frowned, but she could tell he wasn’t upset. Disappointed perhaps, but not angry.

“I’ll go back to the beginning. I was born in India, so I’ll go there for a while. I should’ve never just tried to forget and pretend to be fine. I need to accept my new reality.”

A soft smile grew on Jon’s face. “I really hope you find what you need. And when you come back, I–“

“Don’t wait for me, Jon. Please, don’t put yourself on hold.” She leaned into him again and pressed a chaste kiss to his lips. “It’s not wrong to be happy, even if not everyone else is.”

He nodded begrudgingly. “It’s funny, you know? Robb decided to go away too.”

“What?” Dany asked surprised.

“He wanted to travel across Europe on his bike when he was studying, but he met Talisa and they got married, she was pregnant… he never did, there was always something holding him down. I guess it’s his way to regain control of his life again.” He shook his head. “We’re all going separate ways, but perhaps we’ll find each other soon again.”

“Maybe. Maybe we will.”

-x-

_How is your trip going? :)_

Dany sent the message just as she was about to board the plane to Bangalore. She smiled when soon she got a simple reply: the picture of Robb and Jon in front of the Brandenburg Gate in Berlin.

_We found each other! Maybe I’ll found you next?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think? I don't know if to make a series out of this. Thanks for reading.


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